Tuesday, June 15, 2010

We will be extracting a retraction and apology from sweaty weasel Mark Zuckerberg

In case you missed it, the sweaty weasel came out and said some untrue and unkind things about the iPhone. Something about needing to buy four chargers to keep the battery from dying on him, and having to install a land line “so I can actually make phone calls.”

Katie has been in touch with Elliot Schrage and the rest of the team at Facebook. Our feeling is, everyone’s entitled to an opinion, but that opinion must be based on facts, and this stuff about battery life and not making phone calls is just not factual.

It’s a lot like the situation we had with Ellen Degeneres, where she was claiming that iPhone is difficult to use when of course it is not at all difficult to use.

In Ellen’s case we simply needed to remind the networks that carry her program of the very special relationship that we have with all of them. We just explained how special that relationship is to all of us, and how fragile it is, like a tiny glass Christmas ornament, and how it has to be nourished, like a delicate little seedling plant.

So, same with us and Facebook. Either the Christmas ornament, or the little seedling. Either way, we’re pretty sure the little weasel will post a correction soon. Or, since it’s Facebook, they’ll probably try to walk it back in stages:

1. That’s not what Mark said.

2. That is what Mark said, but that’s not what he meant.

3. Mark regrets that people misunderstood what he said, even though that’s not really what he said.

4. Mark says okay, he only bought three iPhone chargers, not four, and he might have installed a land line anyway, just because it’s a good idea to have one, so he cannot really blame that on the iPhone, so are you happy now? Can we all just move on with our lives? Jesus! Thank you.