Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Conflicting WozTales

My own RDF? Don't be silly, btw, I'm not really here ...

People have been submitting online to every tech blog (except THIS one) conflicting stories about the Woz sighting on iPad Day. CNET reports on one sort of confused testimony of a FreeBSD developer here, there’s the breathless report of San Jose Mercury News, and other testimony from Tweeters and blogjobbers. The main contention being, Did Woz cut  in line or camp all night and wait with everyone else? Was he even there? Was it all a group hallucination?  Could Woz have hacked an RDF of his own to confuse people for his own amusement? Anything is possible with that oversized hobbit on elevated wheels.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

“I and iPad”

Woz tweeted this photo with that caption.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Apple Store: Woz in Santa Clara

Woz just loves the user experience, and you have to appreciate that. He just likes being out with the masses. The fawning adulation probably doesn’t hurt, either. Straight from The Merc in San Jose:

The ever buoyuant Woz, who brought along his Segway, which he used to cruise the empty mall halls, provided tech tales to all who wanted to hear them. An early supply crunch apparently forced Apple to limit individuals and businesses to one order of two iPads. Even Woz couldn’t get more: After ordering one iPad, he tried to put in another order for one more for a friend, but was turned away.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

No caption required

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Woz having hassles with his Prius — but when he calls Toyota to bitch about it, his iPhone keeps dropping the call

Woz is having problems with his Prius because of this stuck accelerator pedal issue. And now he’s and bitching to Gizmodo about the lousy customer service that he’s getting from Toyota and from the NTSA.

Buried in the story is this little gem:

Toyota is difficult too, but after some phone calls I managed to express some of my situation. Unfortunately my iPhone dropped the calls twice and I never got a reference number but they may have some sort of ticket open.

The Gizmodo guy follows up with this:

What I find amazing is that someone—being Steve Wozniak or John Doe—is having these problems, and nobody in the company is doing anything about it, pronto.

We checked, and the Gizmodo guy was talking about the car. Not the phone. Whew.

But consider this: Imagine a world where your car (or your TV, or your alarm clock, or anything) was only as reliable as your iPhone. Nobody would put up with it. Yet with iPhone, they do. And that, my friends, is the miracle of Apple, and the power of the RDF.

PS, Woz? Suck it up and buy a Mercedes.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Everyone has an iPad opinion

Including The Woz, who popped up yesterday at Cal State Chico following The Main Event.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Woz going off the reservation

Steve Wozniak: The Woz. Apple icon. Segway rider. Polo player. Nexus One fan. Money headline: “Steve Wozniak admits he’s jumped to Google’s ship.” He tries to backtrack here.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Woz says he’ll fork it over for the iTablet

The man who helped El Jobso create Apple no longer works there, but he’s still a big fan. “I buy everything Apple comes out with,” he says.woz

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Woz hogs all the credit (again)

Got a Tweet about this clip.  “Steve Wozniak: How I invented the personal computer.”  Dear Leader may have something to add to this.Untitled

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Can someone please tell me what the hell went wrong at Forbes?

It used to be a business magazine for kooky right-wing Ayn Rand fans, written by rich kids whose parents wanted them to play at having a job after they got out of Yale. Now they’re some kind of developmentally disabled version of US Weekly, and they’re writing about Woz and Segway polo — but without making fun of it.

I only know this because Woz just emailed me a link to an article on Forbes.com about his goofy ass Segway polo league. I opened it, cringing, as I always do when opening any link that Woz sends me. But this was even more awful than the usual stuff. I mean, I love Woz (not really) but even I can’t talk about Segway polo without making fun of it. Who can? It’s a bunch of fat dudes dressed in polo outfits on Segways, chasing a ball with sticks — at a top speed of about 2 miles per hour. You could run faster than these Segways go. Larry shows up at their matches with an air pistol and shoots pellets at the players as they crawl past the sideline. Marc Benioff films the attacks, and then they go home and make highlight reels of dorks shrieking as they get zipped in the neck.

Honestly, Forbes, what happened? The shift to the Internet has made you all crazy, no? First came the Best Topless Beaches slideshow. Then came Hollywood’s Hottest Tots and Hollywood’s Most Powerful Vampires.

Now you’re writing about Woz and pretending to take him seriously. WTF? To add just an extra special dollop of crazy to the Segway polo article, it turns out it was written by former child actor Zack O’Malley (“Lorenzo’s Oil”) Greenburg. Woz says he’s a really nice kid, and didn’t even complain when Larry shot him in the ear. Anything to get that scoop, kid!