Douche. Buy a Mac. Or roll your own Linux. Your choice. Now sharrup.

Avowed Windows user Scott Meyer recounts his travails of upgrading from Vista.  The money quote here :”When am I gonna live down buying Windows ME?” “Same time Microsoft lives down making it.””So, never. Awesome!”

See more Basic Instruction goodness here

Update: I am really sick of typing online, as mistakes happen unintentionally, because freakin’ AJAX app can’t freakin’ keep up, and WordPress has a sucky dictionary. Hell, the dictionary in Firefox is fabtabulous (that is intentional word I made up, btw) but WordPress disables it and suppresses it with it’s own sucky software. Yet, this is the freakin’ future folks, and we’re all being stampeded off the edge of this cliff – you’re either die fighting against the stampede or you take your chances diving off the cliff with the rest of the flash mob – “GERONIMO, MUTHAFUCKAS!”

So says The Onion, and those guys do not make stuff up. Money quotes:

Although the commercials crashed nearly every available brand of plasma and LCD television, as well as afflicting older cathode-ray models, Microsoft spokesperson Sarah Machen insisted that the problem was not her company’s fault, and that it likely resulted from low memory, a fragmented disk, or perhaps an outdated video card. A press release issued by the software giant also advised televisions users to avoid quickly switching back and forth between programs to prevent any future crashes.

And:

“I took my TV into the store and they added a bunch of cards and stuff so I can watch it again,” Yoder said. “But the shows run really slow. Now it takes me an hour and a half to get through an episode of Scrubs. And sometimes this hourglass thing comes on the screen right at a good part and, by the time it finally goes away, the show is over.”

Namaste to Jim T. for the link.

PC Mag ran this candid shot of the Borg equivalent of the Apple Genius bar. Not sure but I think the guy is saying, “The wow is now.” Voice balloons anyone?

Much love to dear reader Clay for the tip.

Happened in Australia, at midnight their time. Voice balloons, anyone?

Say it ain’t so, Joe!  Actually, the entire line is, “Mac fanboys should get a life and some Windows 7 common sense.”  That gem is courtesy of Joe Wilcox.  Since Joseph has already painted a target on his back with that quote, well, have at it.

They’re billing it as an old-style “Texaco Star Theater” kinda thing, where one sponsor underwrites the entire show, with no other sponsor breaks.  “Family Guy Presents: Seth & Alex’s Almost Live Comedy Show” will air November 8th at 8:30pm, ET and PT.  Seth MacFarlane and Alex Borstein are behind this.  According to CNET, (and this is the thrilling part) Windows 7 will be part of the story line for the show. That’s must-see TV.

It’s Windows 7 launch party time.  In homes just like yours, friends and neighbors are gearing up to celebrate the release.  Just look at what you’ll get. If you’re not one of the chosen few, don’t worry.  You can always pick one up here.

“It actually stayed up longer than we expected,” a Borg product manager says.