U2’s Bono guarantees he won’t get a Christmas gift from FSJ, by singing to Bill Gates for his 54th birthday. Oh, and one more thing- see Dear Leader’s Greatest Hits here. Windows 7 release does nothing to stop the Apple juggernaut. Chinese iPhone launch wasn’t a total disaster. Some fellow named Ken Segall says he invented the name “iMac.” Finally, El Jobso exercises his classic, trademark humility in humbly declining the “CEO Of The Decade” award.

Halloween is tomorrow, and El Jobso is not very happy about that.  He’s particularly cranky this week, ’cause he doesn’t like cats, either. The Borg finally find out what they were going to get for their Windows 7 sponsor deal on Fox, and decide that wasn’t a good idea. Blodget struck by the notion one can actually get the Net on a mobile device. FSJ’s plenty peeved at Bill Keller. One Whopper of a Windows 7 promotion in Japan. The folks at RIM can start prepping those resumes now. King Dork celebrates a birthday. Borg trolls are (allegedly) spreading lies on the Apple boards.  What does “NB” stand for? (Hint: it’s not New Balance, his sneaker of choice.)  Dear Leader explains.

Pixar logo convicted of murder, gets the chair.  FSJ celebrates making a lot of money.  Apple unveils updates on the iMac and more, and Gruber nailed it. This results in uncustomary groveling from El Jobso.  Now we know the secret behind the Apple marketing mystique: hypnosis.  October 22nd was the day the music died.  Or something.  Mosspuppet gets hammered, then declares he  sabotaged Microsoft.