It’s a battle royale as the two most humorless and prone-to-outrage groups in the world (leaving aside Islamofascists, the perennial winners in the “easily outraged and lacking in humor” competition) duke it out to see who can be more angry about the above advertisement. Linux nerds were offended by the ad, which appeared in a Linux rag, because the gist is that, um, your average freetard doesn’t get a lot of hummer action. Soon, I’m sure, there will be some kind of online petition. Then feminists jumped in, griping here that the ad offends them too because it implies women should be giving hummers to Linux geeks. Or something. Money quote: “The misogyny is obvious, since the ad treats women explicitly and entirely like sexual objects. The themes of objectification and comparing women to machines continue throughout the smaller print …”

Here at Apple we would never compare women to machines. And we never treat women like sexual objects. Just like Linux geeks, we don’t get hummers either. Difference is that we frankly don’t care if we get hummers. We don’t need hummers, because our machines have already restored our sense of childlike wonder and enabled us to achieve a higher plane of consciousness, where hummers are unnecessary. And Leopard, just FYI, is going to be better than any hummer you’ve ever received in your life, even the ones Larry gets with three women taking turns. I so swear to God.

Honestly, folks, look. I’m a dude, and just like most dudes, I like chicks. But I am not down with this new trend of exploiting women to sell consumer electronics. Sure, we have hot chicks dancing in our silhouette ads. But that’s different. Anyway, if you want to see the site where the above photo originates, go here. There are others like it, even more sickening, showing women in lingerie posing with iPods and so on. Please know that these photos on T3, whatever that is, are not sanctioned by Apple. I’m posting it here just to let you know about this so you can write to T3 and express your disapproval. I’m just going to keep on posting these whenever I find them in order to shame these exploiters. For shame, T3. Whoever you are.

See here. A reader has just alerted me to the fact that Macenstein has a feature called “Mac Chick of the Month.” This month’s winner is actress Mandy Amano, above. Frankly I think it’s just gross and exploitative to use photos of nearly naked women to attract readers. It was disgusting when Wired did it and it’s disgusting now. And I am going to keep hammering away on this issue and running these disgusting photos until something is done about it.

Dear friends in the Defective by Design movement: I know you think this poster is going to scare people away from using iPods. I hate to tell you, but I think it’s actually helping sales. In any case I’m not sure it helps your cause to have weirdo losers like this carrying around pictures of women in bondage. Because it’s kind of what we all suspect you freaks secretly fantasize about when you’re sitting around in your pee-stained tighty whities downloading drivers. Right?

(Note to readers: After you click on the photo of the losers, click on the “Original” button at top of page and you’ll get a real closeup of Mr. Scary Goggle Wearing Guy. Don’t do this when there are kids around, though. You’ll scare them.)

And it just ain’t working. I’m told this is Ron Hovsepian’s admin who got forced into doing some guerrilla marketing at the WinHEC conference yesterday. Idea was to lure away Microsoft business partners and woo them to Linux. Didn’t work. Meanwhile leading Novell hater Bruce Perens launched a counter demonstration, coating himself in chocolate sauce and whipped cream and saying, “There’s nothing sweet about Novell!” He’s still being held by local police.

Then again you gotta admit, friggin Jenna Fischer is hot, no? When Maxim or one of the other lad mags gets her, I am all over that. Or Playboy. Please God let her do Playboy. Damn you Wired for not having the courage to show beaver!

That said, I find it absolutely disgusting that a serious highbrow intellectual magazine like Wired would resort to this kind of thing just to get attention on the newsstand. Thank goodness for blogs like this one which are picking up the hard work of doing real journalism now that the MSM has slunk into the gutter.