Friday, January 4, 2008

Scoble Facebook shutdown was a hoax

So much for the big drama of Scoble being tossed off Facebook. By end of day yesterday he’d had his privileges restored. But only after causing a big fuss and calling all sorts of attention to himself and boosting his traffic numbers. Seriously, what kind of shameless attention whore would do something like that? Scoble, if you’re going to pull stunts, at least try to be original. Much love, big fella. Sorry I’m just reporting this now but I was in rehearsals until late last night then went directly to my float tank.


Thursday, January 3, 2008

Join the "Ban Scoble from Facebook" group on Facebook


Well it’s happened. The “ban Robert Scoble from Facebook” group has been created. Apple faithful, let your voices be heard. Go here and vote to keep Robert Scoble banned from Facebook. Much love to dear reader Ted for doing what needed to be done. All I did was ask, and boom! Like that, it happened.


Caption contest


Hey look kids! It’s Robert Scoble and Dave Winer, the two most annoying blowhards on the Internet, and they’re talking to one another! What on earth could they be saying?


Scoble banished from Facebook. We’re trying to see if we can banish him from Apple too.


If you haven’t heard already, Robert “King of All Bloggers” Scoble has been tossed out of Facebook because he violated their terms of use. Scoobie used a script to try to pull his friends list off Facebook, which is something they don’t allow, because they’re, um, all about transparency and openness and freedom, dude. Or something. Anyhoo, Scoobie knew the rules but he broke them anyway. Now he’s begging Facebook to let him back in. According to Valleywag (see here) a bunch of people have joined a Facebook group calling for Scoble to be reinstated. (To see this group — or God forbid, join it — go here.) Problem for Robert as I see it is that Microsoft is now partnered with Zuckerborg, and those dudes in Redmond friggin hate Scoble. I’m not kidding.

What I’m wondering is whether anyone will counter the pro-Scoble group by starting a “Keep Robert Scoble off Facebook” group. And if not, why not? Someone create this thing and we’ll drive as many people as possible to it.

Meanwhile we’re trying to figure out if we can banish Scoble from using Apple products or visiting Apple retail stores. From what I’m told others have picked up on the same idea. Google wants him off their apps. Twitter says he’s eating up too much bandwidth. Here’s a thought. Why not banish Robert Scoble from the Internet altogether? Is that even possible? Moshe says he’s looking into it.


Friday, November 16, 2007

Scoble goes berserk, blames Apple for his failures


I’m speechless. Scoble has gone all rogue and bad-ass and is ranting about our machines because he’s had a few little problems. See here. Apparently he’s had a few minor issues after installing an upgrade. No doubt the problems are caused by user error, meaning he probably loaded some crapware on these machines that caused them to malfunction. Naturally, however, he blames this all on us and says that his machine has blacked out on him. All I can say is that this isn’t happening to anyone else on the entire planet, just Scoble, so we’re not really quite sure what to make of it.

But we are enjoying it when he gets all gangsta and writes stuff like this: “Screw you Apple and your ads saying you’re better than Microsoft. Screw you. Screw you. Screw you.”

And, because Robert can’t ever write anything without letting you know HOW VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT HE IS, we get the following: “What’s ironic is lots of other computer companies would LOVE to give me free stuff (I don’t take it) but Apple is the only company that’s never raised a PR finger to help me.”

Little tip, Robert. Start taking the free stuff from the other companies. Really. We mean it. Also, please note that you will never, ever, ever be invited to an Apple event ever again. And those MacBooks of yours? Paperweights. You have my word on that. Siooma, RoSco. (Photo: Burt Hammer, Urban Beat.)


Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Report: Scoble pissed because he didn’t get a Google Phone


Poor Scoble. Apparently he’s been frantically calling Google and leaving angry messages in the PR department voice mailboxes sounding all pissed off because he wasn’t invited to the VaporPhone ™ announcement yesterdy and demanding that they send him a Google Phone right fucking now because he’s very important and influential and if he uses one then the whole world (ie his readership) will want one too and it’s really Google’s best interests to keep Robert happy and he’s totally going to videoblog or podcast about it and he’s having lunch today with someone who’s very important at one of the major networks and if he had a Google Phone he could show it to them and then who knows how the thing could take off?

Apparently nobody at Google wants to tell Robert that there aren’t any actual phones yet. And they love winding the guy up and driving him nuts. So they called him back and told him there are only a very small number available and that unfortunately Robert isn’t on the A list but that maybe he could borrow the one that Michael Arrington got. Or Om Malik’s. Scoble was screaming as they hung up.


Thursday, October 25, 2007

Scoble denies, then confirms, then does a little dance …

Scoble got all angry about our post yesterday saying that Podtech was not long for this world. But now he’s posted a sort of kind of quasi type confirmation that all is not well in Podland. Naturally he did this on Twitter. Ahem. See his post here. Quote: “Truth is PodTech *is* restructuring its business and refocusing its resources.”

Restructuring its business and refocusing its resources.

Riiiight. That’s a friggin beatiful eg of clammy corporate doublespeak isn’t it? Shocking to hear this kind of murky language coming from Mr. Naked Conversations. Or maybe not. According to Katie this is the new new thing — radical opacity. Combined with radical transparency to achieve synergies and effect empowering change across multiple disparate constituencies– (Enough, we get it, Ed.) Someone at Wired is doing an article on it already.

TWITTER UPDATE: This just in from Scoble’s Twitter feed. PodTech receiving an investment from unnamed large industry player at a $20 billion valuation. Bubble be damned!

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble denying on Twitter the rumors of investment at $20 billion valuation.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble now in his car, talking on iPhone about $20 billion rumor.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble now off iPhone, thinking about $20 billion valuation.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble believing it may actually be true.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble stopped at red light.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble making right on red.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble thinking about coffee.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble in Starbucks.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble tells barista PodTech now worth $20 billion. Offers to pay for coffee with a share of Podtech stock. Barista declines.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble on phone to Google, asking for Sergey.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble on hold.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble on hold.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble on hold.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble realizes line is dead.

TWITTER UPDATE: Scoble redialing. Willing to settle for $15 billion.

(Again, stop, we get it. Ed.)