Sunday, January 3, 2010

One more from Scoble, why not?

The headline alone is enough.  “The gadget that makes Steve Jobs jealous.”  And this: “the first device that makes my iPhone seem flawed.”  I know, hyperbole.  An iPhone cannot be flawed.  Anyway, this is all about a freebie coffee maker he got for speaking at Le Web.  Bet he didn’t pay for that Google latte’ mug, either.

Scoble tees off on Wilcox

Joe Wilcox’s somewhat myopic story on the upcoming Apple tablet struck a nerve in Half Moon Bay.  Top quote: “We all are gonna live in Steve Jobs’s tablet world soon.”

Friday, November 20, 2009

Scoble declares Chrome OS the winner

…which is, um, hard to do since it’s not really out yet.  And won’t be for another year or so.  But he crowns it the champion ’cause he can, um, cook it in the kitchen.  Or cook in the kitchen with it.  Or something.  More right hereScoble Food

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Scoble desecrates his Mac

Check out this photo on Scoble’s flickr page. He’s got a perfectly nice MacBook Pro, covered in ugly stickers. I got so angry looking at this that I had to shut off my Mac and go sit down and do some non-thinking for a while.

Friday, May 23, 2008

En garde, twittertards

I’m not supposed to talk about this but it’s too good to hold back.

Apple blazing trails again, this time with a gadget that will silence twitterers at will. Regardless of their device.

Imagine the chagrin as the twitter mobs get revved up only to have their peckings dissipate into the ether! What will Scoble do if he can’t tell the world when he’s sleeping. When he’s awake. When he’s being annoying (which face it, is all the time)?

Sweet. Wonder how much Sarah Va-Va-Voom Lacy would pay for this baby?

Maybe we’ll trot it out at the already-sold-out worldwide developers conference.

Maybe not.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The people have spoken: Scoble for Borg CEO

Well our poll about who should be the new Borg CEO has closed and much to our surprise King of All Bloggers Robert Scoble has emerged as the people’s favorite to replace Steve Ballmer. Scoble got 786 votes, or 39% of the total, compared to 534 for Gates and 507 for Ozzie. Much love to all who participated. And congratulations, Robert Scoble.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Scoble seeking to be acquired by Microsoft

In the wake of the Microhoo fiasco and amid reports that Monkey Boy is now hungry to buy something else, like Facebook, our spies in Redmond say former Borg ego-blogger Robert Scoble has reached out to Ballmer directly in a bid to sell his “personal brand” to Microsoft. Sources say Scoble is seeking a 10x multiple on his advertising revenues which analysts estimate at approximately zero dollars. Analysts say that price “somewhat overshoots” the value of the Scoble brand but people close to Scoble say that he’s learned from Jerry Yang’s mistake and would be willing to negotiate downward in order to make a deal happen. Sources say Scoble would perhaps pay Microsoft as much as $500,000 up front in order to get them to acquire his brand and re-attach him to the Borg. Michael Arrington of TechCrunch estimates a fair value on the deal would involve Scoble putting up a larger amount, perhaps $1 million, with a back-end revenue share arrangement. More as this develops.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Scoble accuses me of lying, but admits he has no proof

Forgive me but isn’t this stupid fuck one of the big-mouth bloggers who’s always quick to jump on people for running rumors without proof? You know — those holier-than-thou bloggers who are always jumping on the morons in the MSM and criticizing them for violating some sacred rule of journalism?

So imagine my surprise to see Scoble running an article where he says that a little bird told him that Flash runs fine on iPhone and I’m lying about why we don’t use it. That’s right. He accuses. Me. Of. Lying. See here. Money quote is his outrageously stupid first sentence: “I have not substantiated this with anyone at either Adobe or Apple, so might turn out to be totally false.”

Excuse me, I just choked on my mango smoothie. Especially because I seem to remember Scoble squealing like a pig when I ran a rumor about him leaving his job at Podtech. Even though that rumor, um, turned out to be true.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Scoble and Bono: BFF in Davos

Here’s video from Davos showing my dear ex-friend Bono gasbagging as usual while Robert Scoble gazes on in awe and points some kind of cell phone at him. One question: How the hell did Scoble get to Davos? Who sent him there? Second question: Is it not amazing that these two modest, humble, self-effacing fellows have finally found each other? Had to happen, didn’t it.

Meanwhile, check out this nauseating photo and story about Bono teaming up with Microsoft and Dell on this (RED) initiative. Lots of folks have been writing in to me about this. See, here’s the thing. Bono doesn’t like me anymore. Started during the options backdating thing, when I threw our former CFO, Fred Anderson, under a bus. Fred and Bono are pals; they’re also business partners. So Bono got all huffy and said I was a dick for screwing over Fred. I was like, Dude, it’s not personal, it’s business. Fred’s a big kid. He knows the drill. It’s his turn to take one for the team. Well, Bono is kind of a n00b when it comes to business. He thinks running a company is like being in a band or something. He starts going on about how the record label bugged U2 for years to get rid of their drummer, Larry, because, truth be told, he’s not that good a drummer, plus he’s kind of unattractive. But Bono said no, we’re keeping Larry. And he thinks this makes him some kind of hero. I was like Dude, you’re talking about some drummer in a rock band. I’m talking about billions of dollars in market cap. Bit of a difference here.

Oh well. Bono doesn’t get it. So now he’s pals with the Beastmaster. Fine. Let them be friends. See if I care. Sniff.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

FSJ poll shows Scoble beating Clinton in New Hampshire

Results of our latest poll after the close: Robert “King of all Bloggers” Scoble takes second place with 470 votes versus 317 for Hillary Clinton. Oh, and Obama got 1853. Not good news for Mrs. Clinton, I’d say. Scoble reported to be in talks with Bob Shrum, recruiting campaign team via Facebook and trying to devise a strategy for South Carolina. Weighing a bid as a third-party candidate. I’m told he put out a really classy speech on Twitter last night. Video announcement of his decision to enter the campaign expected this morning. Much love, Scoble.