Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Larry vs. SAP & IBM – the dick fight continues!

Hot stuff tech reporter for CBS Marketwatch, Therese Poletti,

I gotta' admit, it's the power and the beard. I get a hot bubbly fondue just thinking 'bout him.

loves to hear

C'mon Palmisano - make my day!

Larry say how much he’s gonna put away SAP and IBM, which he has been saying now for quite a long while. While I’m pretty sure the Sun acquisition was a move directed at IBM,  Larry’s secret weapon against SAP has yet to be deployed satisfactorily, nay, it’s not even out of the oven yet. Well, it’s just all show for the stockholders, folks. Larry waves his dick, SAP’s co-CEOs have to pull theirs out, and you gotta’ an amusing sword fight, meanwhile Palmisano over at IBM, remember him, he’s busily re-arranging the deck chairs on his ship of state and all the passengers and the media thinks its dandy, while the crew are ready to mutiny, ‘ceptin’ thar be a boatload of scabs from India and The Spice Isles ready to sign on at a moment’s notice. It’s going to be fun when somebody finally snoozes S.S. Big Blue runs aground off a reef or a dastardly iceberg in the middle of some foggy night.  And Cringely will be off to the side in a dinghy yelling from his megaphone, “I told ya’ so, I told ya’ so!”

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Dick fight!Dick fight!Dick fight!

I was going to write about this but even I starting falling asleep before the third word was typed. Sorry, just wasn’t inspired to write about the Java community wringing its hands over what Larry Ellison is gonna’ do with freakin’ Java. Now this is more interesting.

Ve vill match our swords against Larry's any day, any time, any place

SAP‘s two co-CEOs sneered, ‘cos thats what Eurotards do, they love to sneer, I think it was invented by the French, it’s one of their things, you know, but these guys are like Krauts, I think, but they’re Eurotards nonetheless, so, like they’re sneering at Larry’s recent shopping spree, all these companies Oracle just bought, not just Sun Microsystems, though that’s the one that gets the most press since My Little Pony practically ran it into the ground (by the way, people, are you entering this Snip The Pony Tail contest or not? It’s for real, for goodness sake, what do I have to do, throw in an imaginary 3G iPad?), so they sneer a lot more, then say they gotta’ strategy and only buy companies that adhere to that strategy, but you know, I dunno what that strategy is,

These guys can't compete with my knockwurst, let me tell ya' ...!

for whatever the heck Larry is doin’, it may seem scattershot and disorganized to these krauty Eurotards but Larry is eating their lunch, dinner and breakfast, so unless their strategy is to run SAP into the ground, too, let’s let these two wiener-schnitzels be. On second thought, all that sneeeerrring is for the press. What we really have is a couple of krauts girding their loins for an old fashioned dick fight with Oracle. These guys are seething because

Now this is more like it .. why can'tcha' write more blog columns like this? You have a future, son, just not with me .... yet!

Larry is beating them at their own game, and it looks like it’s gonna get even hotter in the next year. Not that I feel sorry for them. It’s just gonna’ be entertaining watching these guys fret, drop the ball,lose their hair and their empire to Larry.

UPDATE: Okay, okay, SAP co-CEO Bill McDermott is not a Eurotard, he just works for ’em, much the same way that Howard Stringer is not Japanese, otherwise, wouldn’t Sony still be one of the leading electronics entertainment companies on the planet?