Monday, May 28, 2007

Tux500 loser: The world now knows who we are

Seriously, read this pathetic apologia from one of the Linux Indy car scammers reporting on the fact that the car with the penguin on it was the first car knocked out of the race. Money quote: “For now though, let it be known. We, the Linux Community, did what we set out to do. We started to tell the world about Linux. Via this event, millions of people that have never heard of Linux now have.”

They’ve heard of it all right — when the announcer was saying, “What’s that word on the car that’s smashing into the wall? Oh, Linux. I see.” Yes, let it be known. “Linux” and “untimely crashes,” now and forever linked in the minds of frigtards who watch cars go in circles. Great job, morons. You’re ace marketers. For sure.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Linux car finishes dead last at Indy. `We have won!’ sponsors say

Those Linux saps who managed to convince some Indy car team to put a Tux the Penguin Linux logo on their car are nowhere to be seen these days. Reason? The Linux car bailed after 36 laps, finishing dead last in the race. See results here for Roberto Moreno in car #77. What a perfect metaphor for Linux itself. Loads of hype and then a quick fizzle. How long till these kooks resurface and declare that even though they lost, they actually won? Or that they would have won, except Microsoft ran them off the road?

UPDATE: Word on Slashdot is that free software legal expert Eben Moglen is claiming that the Indy 500 itself now has been GPL’d. Affixing the logo to an Indy car constitutes “redistribution” under terms of GPL. Viral nature of the license means that from now on all Indy cars will have to bear Linux logos. Moglen says he believes the FSF can work this out amicably without going to court, but warns “the community will do what it needs to do in order to protect its freedom.” More on this as it develops.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Linux Indy car guy falls short but takes victory lap anyway

The goal: Raise $350,000 to sponsor a car for the Indy 500. The guy behind the effort said all he needed was for 1% of Linux users to donate $1 each. In the end he raised $15,000. Which I guess proves the Linux community is either a) smaller than he thought; or b) cheaper; or c) both. Despite raising only 4% of his target goal the Tux500 guy is claiming victory because somehow he still managed to get a penguin sticker on a race car. See here. Meanwhile there are now some other Linux loons saying that the Tux500 organizers are running a scam. See what Penguin Pete has to say. Yes, that’s right. Penguin Pete.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Novell, you’re trying way too hard to be cool

And it just ain’t working. I’m told this is Ron Hovsepian’s admin who got forced into doing some guerrilla marketing at the WinHEC conference yesterday. Idea was to lure away Microsoft business partners and woo them to Linux. Didn’t work. Meanwhile leading Novell hater Bruce Perens launched a counter demonstration, coating himself in chocolate sauce and whipped cream and saying, “There’s nothing sweet about Novell!” He’s still being held by local police.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Buy a laptop, help fund a Linux Indy car

See here. For every laptop sold, this company is donating ten bucks to the Tux500 Linux Indy car effort. Which is no doubt why their total has now soared to $12,158.13, up from $12,003.34 on Friday. That’s like 15.3 laptops in just three days. Question: Why the hell is the total amount raised not a round number? Is someone actually sending in pennies?

Microsoft v. Linux: Great news for us

Also in Fortune see this story about the MicroTards threatening freetards with their patents. I love this. It’s like seeing a fight break out at the Special Olympics. The two crappiest software development groups in the world are duking it out over who wrote this rat’s nest of code that nobody in their right mind should want to use anyway. Folks, if you want a really hardcore crash-proof Unix-based (not “Unix-like”) operating system, with a beautiful user interface, smooth integration with peripherals, and so forth — it already exists. Little hint on how to find it. Go to your local mall. Look for the store with the big white apple in the window. As for you freetards and MicroTards: Please keep fighting and confusing customers and scaring the shit out of everyone. Please please please.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Linux Indy car organizer writes in

His name is Ken Starks aka Helios and you can see his full comment at the bottom of my last post about the Tux500 fundraising efforts here. Basically Ken says he’s grateful to me for mentioning his efforts and he’ll try to make the most of the free publicity. Money quote: “So let this comment serve as fair notice of my intentions. I fully intend to squeeze every pixel of matter out of your comments to our benefit. Time for gentlemanly behavior has past. My Alpha-Male is now in charge and how I hate him. None the less, he is driving now and he tells me this is perfect propaganda for our purpose.”

To see a photo of the Alpha Male, go here. Warning: When you see him, you’re going to want to use Linux.

Good news is that since my post yesterday the Tux500 effort has surged again, reaching $12,003.34, up from $11,927.88 only 24 hours ago. That’s huge, people. We’re gonna do this!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Linux Indy car prototype

This just came in from a reader. Question: What are the chances Stallman will do to this car what he’s doing to Linux itself — ie, crash it into a wall?

New surge pushes Linux Indy car fund-raising close to $12,000

Amazing stuff. The Linux guys are starting to pick up some momentum in their quest to raise $350,000 and put a car in the Indy 500. In the days since my last post (see here) they’ve surged from $11,243.62 to $11,927.88. Haven’t received my “Thank you” note from Bob Moore of Tux500 yet but I’d like to think I helped out. For a view of the overall effort, see the Tux500 website here. Can’t you just see that lady from Sun rolling her eyes and exclaiming how amazing this is and how things are going so beautfully? Countdown has begun. They have eleven days left to raise the remaining $337,072.12. The suspense is killing me!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Only 13 days left for Linux race car effort

And the poor guys are a little bit off the pace in their efforts to sponsor a team in the Indy 500. So far they’ve raised $11,243.62. They need $350,000. See their sad web site here. Worse yet, now they’ve got competition. Someone has started a rival web site trying to raise money to get a Vista-sponsored car into the Indy.

Guys, seriously, listen to me. You need to get a grip. Turn off the computer. Put down the family-size bag of potato chips. Put on clean underwear. If you don’t have any clean underwear, do some laundry. Then get dressed and go outside. Talk to someone. Anyone. I know it’s lonely out there. Go to an Apple store and look at the real computers. Our salespeople will hook you up. Go. Now. Please.