Thursday, March 11, 2010

Secret Apple iPhone dev agreement reveals draconian rules

Still had to look up what draconian meant.  Huffington Post has a story about all the super-secret Area 51 stuff you allegedly have to agree to if you’re going to make an iPhone app. Key quote from the Electronic Freedom Foundation: “Apple (acts like) a ‘jealous and arbitrary feudal lord,’ who is ‘putting shackles on the market it (for now) leads.”

Yeah? So what’s the problem?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

No WiFi Search for You!

The soup Nazis over at Apple have inscrutably banned another group of applications from the iPhone/iTouch and soon to be iPad platform. WiFi finders were unceremoniously scrubbed from the app store beginning Thursday. I’m sure AT&T is involved on this one.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Preview iPhone apps in your browser

Just like you can do with iTunes songs, you can now preview iPhone apps in your browser. You’ll now get a preview page as well as seeing the app in iTunes.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wanna be an App millionaire?

Get featured in a Apple commercial demonstrating Apps for iPhone and iTouch. Apple even maintains a page so people can easily find those Apps after watching their commercials.

Watch the bucks roll in for a month or two, then move on to the next app up your sleeve. The trick is to keep writing developing and submitting apps, never rest on your laurels, hire a team, buy an empty office building that hasn’t been condo-sized by yuppie developers, work that team by the approved Jobs method of love and terror, keep hiring and firing at will, soon … you’ll wonder what the fuck just happened?

All you wanted was make a quick buck and have a little fun, and now you’ve got very complicated life supporting a company that produces a nine digit income net, three ex-wives, kids you met at birth (just barely), three mortgages, real hair loss, not just a shaved head, middle age spread  … and no fun. This could be your life. Here are the keys … ignition  … liftoff?

Monday, November 30, 2009

Happy St. Andrews Day (or how to land a husband)

Today is a sacred holiday of my people and our womenfolk have had some very strange ways of trying to land a provider in the past, in relation to this day. Don’t ask me where or how these ideas arose. Personally, I think back in the day, their great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grand spinster aunty ate some moldy lysergic communion bread (there was a lot unintentional tripping in those days, made it easier for the church to weave its magic and control the populace) and passed on these hallucinations to their nieces and everything grew organically from there until, like, Galileo re-invented science or “the new magic” and women started landing husbands by making themselves more attractive, which is a very subjective thing even today – I oughta’ know, I read the personals columns in Craigslist, it’s funny, kinda’ sad and pathetic, too.

You know how my womenfolk do it today? They value themselves first and don’t pay any mind to anybody who doesn’t value them the same. They are all hot, they know exactly what they want and get it and they do not settle for assholes nor schmoes. Sure, some get divorced, but they get back on that horse and land another prizewinner.

Right now, I’m trying to figure out how to turn this into an app for the iPhone. We’re calling it the iMate™. Clever, eh? Once we get the bugs worked out, and clear the approval process, it’ll be a guaranteed hit, at least for six months, then an upgrade aimed at all those over-anxious-over-35 crowd who haven’t hooked up in awhile. We’ll call it iPurr™ or iCougar™, or something like that. How much would you pay for an app that could land you a potential mate or at least a roll in the hay?

Call me!

Friday, November 27, 2009

MallMap app is not crap

CNNMoney lists essential iPhone apps for Holiday Shopping Season. The great unwashed have spoken,



and it’s MallMaps, which actually may have a life after January 6, 2010. These guys created the app, and they swear they love what they do.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Can Your Network Do That?

Last night Apple strikes back subtly at Verizon and Droid, here and here. Which is way better than those AT&T postcard ads featuring Luke Wilson (I still love you, man!).

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

App offers tips on "How to score"

This sounds like a bad episode of “Beavis & Butthead.”  Pepsi is offering an iPhone app that teaches guys the finer points of “scoring.”  Apparently good taste is optional with this app.  A popular women’s blog responds here.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Kinda like Cover Flow for your iPhone

This Swedish company has come up with something just like that.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Boston Archdiocese introduces iPhone app

Works fine, just don’t leave it alone with your kids.