Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I even write back to mail intended for other people

from: kazim obaid
date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 5:21 PM

Mr.Kazim Obaid
United arab Emirates.
Greetings From Dubai,

This message might meet you in (utmost surprise),however,it’s just my urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction.I am a banker by profession from United Arab Emirates and currently holding the post of Director Auditing and Accounting unit of the bank.

I have the opportunity of transfering the left over funds ($17.5million)our bank deceased customer late Richard Burson, who died on (Egypt Air Flight 990) along with his family on a plane crash below.

Hence i am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared between us in the ratio of 50/40 while 10% will be mapped out for expenses. If you agree to my business proposal. further details of the
transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as i receive your return mail.

Respectfully yours

Mr. Kazim Obaid


to: kazim obaid
date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 5:25 PM


Your note seems to have been intended for someone else, but was forwarded to me somehow. I suppose you are surprised to be receiving email from the Steve Jobs, but in fact I often respond to emails, just like an ordinary person. It’s just how I am. For what it’s worth, if you want to avoid future misdelivered mail messages, you should drop gmail and get a account. Works great on our magical new iPad, which should be available in your area later this year. Keyboard is very easy to use, despite what you may have heard. Peace to you and all your brothers in the UAE.

And another

On May 19, 2010, at 10:17 AM, xxxxxxx wrote:


I’m a longtime fan of Apple products and the proud owner of three iPads in addition to my vast collection of other Apple products. Could you tell me if Apple has any plans to add support for xxxx and xxxx to iXxxxx anytime in the near future? This way I could connect my xxxxxx to my home xxxxxxx and send xxxxx files via WiFi to devices like my xxxxxxx and xxxxxxxx anywhere in the house. What do you think?

On May 19, 2010, at 10:18 AM, Steve Jobs wrote:


On May 19, 2010, at 10:20 AM, xxxxxxx wrote:


Could you explain your reasons for this decision? What thinking went into it? Because it really seems like it would be straightforward enough for Apple to add these features and it would be obviously very useful. And if the answer is just “No,” why bother responding at all? Why go to the trouble to answer an email and then just send a one-word email that says “No”? Could you maybe just take the trouble to write something a bit more explanatory? Like, something more than just one word?

On May 19, 2010, at 10:22 AM, Steve Jobs wrote:

Sorry, no.

Another totally spontaneous e-mail exchange

Subject: Why are you such a selfish dick?
Date: May 19, 2010 9:01:18 PM PDT


I just bought an iPad, and it won’t run Flash. I’m returning it. Meanwhile, I read your “Thoughts on Flash” essay. I would like to ask you the following: Why are you so full of shit? And why are you such a selfish, hypocritical dick?

Chuck G., Mountain View, Calif.

Subject: Why are you such a selfish dick?
Date: May 19, 2010 9:27:02 PM PDT


I know where you live, asshole. Don’t make me hurt you.

Warnock? I cc’d you so you can get your bitch back on his leash.

Sent from my iPad, which will never run Flash, because Flash sucks.

From the mailbag

On May 18, 2010, at 10:25 PM, Richard Feder wrote:

Hi Steve Jobs,

I am now in the market for a new commputer and I keep hearing from my friends that I should get an Apple computer instead of the Windows machines which I have used in the past. My friends insist Apple is better, more reliable, and contains many extra feature. But when I went to the local Best Buy in Fort Lee, N.J., I was shown a Toshiba laptop for $399, while Apple starts for almost three times as much. And the sales guy there says there is not much difference — they are all made in China, by the same company, with the same parts. My question to you is why does Apple cost so much more, what do I get for the extra money, and could you be a good “salesman” and win me over? Also maybe I should get an iPad instead? Would that be enough for me?

Thanks and congratulations on being such an open and approachable CEO, you are a refreshing change from most of corporate America.


On May 18, 2010, at 11:38 PM, Steve Jobs wrote:

I don’t do sales. If you choose to get advice from some minimum wage worker at Best Buy, you will get what you deserve. Frankly, you sound like exactly the kind of penny-pinching fuckwit that we don’t want using our products anyway, so go buy the Toshiba and enjoy it while it lasts, because it represents the last of its kind. The times they are a changing, and very soon the all-purpose computer, where you can buy and run any software you want, will be obsolete, replaced by the iPad, which costs more and does less and only runs software made by Apple or approved by Apple and sold through Apple’s store. This is the future and it will be way better than what we’ve had so far, which is why legacy PC companies are freaking the fuck out. They see their messy “open” world slipping away and being replaced by the neat, tidy world where everything works seamlessly because, frankly, there are no seams. Everything comes from one place and works like a dream. No cross-platform development tools, no intermediary APIs, everything written in Cocoa. I don’t expect you to understand most of what I’ve just written because it is obvious that you are stupid. Anyway, I have instructed our Apple store people to put your name on our list of people to whom we will not sell products. In case you are considering having a friend buy a product for you, don’t, because as soon as you try to activate it or do anything that involves your email address, personal information, or credit card information, we will remotely brick your machine. I mean it.

Thank you and have a magical day. Much love,