Much love to dear reader Rich, who writes, “One is an insignificant minuscule little creature that no one pays attention to. The other is the star of the #1 movie in America.” Namaste, Rich.

Dear reader Jesse asks, “Has anyone noticed the striking resemblance between Sabretooth, the insane brain-damaged mutant supervillain with amazing healing powers and a penchant for crazy schemes and scams, and Richard Branson? Could they perhaps be related?”

Yup, it turns out Hillary wasn’t dodging sniper fire when she visited Bosnia. Nor did she negotiate the Anglo-Irish peace accord. Nor did she pass the Family Medical Leave Act or the SCHIP thing. Just joking, I guess. But she’ll be ready on day one. Much love to Eric for the doppelganger.

Dear reader Brian writes in to ask if anyone else has noticed the striking resemblance between Jan Brady — the perennial runner-up little sister in the Brady Bunch who was always jealous of her older, better looking, more successful sister, Marcia — and my former business partner, the one and only Woz. I’d never thought of this before but I think Brian has a point.

BTW, Woz picked up five MacBook Airs from our first batch and word is he’s already been griping about what he would have done differently and what features he wishes it had and what’s wrong with the design, blah blah. Look for him to be mouthing off somewhere in public soon.

Dear reader Alexander asks, “Has anyone else noticed the striking resemblance between L. Ron Hubbard, the creator of Scientology, a bizarre cult whose members badger everyone they know to join their movement and, when threatened, flock to its defense with lawsuits and noisy acts of harassment and terrorism; and Linus Torvalds, the creator of Linux? Could they perhaps be related?” (Much love to FSJ Art Director Jason for the fine work.)

Well as long as I’m pissing people off let’s have some fun. A reader named Larry B. Melman asks, “Has anyone else noticed the striking resemblance between General Zod, the sinister megalomaniacal villain whose goal is to force all of the world into submission before him, and Oracle CEO Larry Ellison? Could they be related?” (Art work by Jason.)

UPDATE: I’m so frazzled that I actually posted this item earlier today without including the photo. Just noticed it now. Duh. Sorry. Tomorrow I’ll mellow down with some kind bud before sitting at the iMac. Totally helps me focus.

Dear reader Michael asks, “Has anyone else noticed the striking resemblance between the mean-spirited joyless Grinch who stole Christmas, and the ever-joyful elfin gadget reviewer David Pogue? Could they be related?” Also, if you want to see something really cloying and annoying, check out Smurfy Pogue’s Christmas video on this page. Much love to Jason for the art.

So this Gretchen chick has decided to taunt me. Now she sends in this photo montage and asks, “Has anyone else noticed the striking resemblance between Rupert Murdoch, the megalomaniacal media tycoon whose goal seems to be to take over the entire world and who is notorious for presenting a skewed version of reality and angrily destroying anyone who stands in his way, and Apple CEO Steve Jobs?”

Gretchen also points out that it would be interesting to imagine what changes Rupert would make if he were running Apple. And she says it terrifies her to imagine what would happen to the Wall Street Journal if I’d bought it instead of Murdoch. We’re sending Moshe to have a chat with Gretchen.

Some frigtard named Gretchen writes in to say, “Has anyone else noticed the striking resemblance between Richard M. Nixon, the secretive, paranoid, angry, dishonest and deeply troubled commander-in-chief with a penchant for lying to investigators and fucking over his subordinates while pretending to be a deeply religious man, and Steve Jobs? Could they be related?”

Man oh man. Folks, I know you will race to my defense on this. PhotoCrankers, start your engines.

Dear reader Joe from Singapore writes in to ask if anyone else has noticed the resemblance between John McEnroe, the hot-tempered, ill-mannered, spoiled baby tennis star best known for insulting and abusing people and throwing public tantrums, and me. We’re trying to get McEnroe to consent to some DNA testing. We’d rather not kidnap and drug him and draw his blood against his wishes, but Moshe says if we have to, we can. PhotoCrankers? Any thoughts on this?