Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Cook gets paid a lot for not messing up

Remember earlier in the year when Dear Leader had to leave the planet for awhile? Well, Tim Cook remembers.  The Apple COO stepped into the temporary leadership vacancy and piloted the ship admirably. So much so, that he got a smidge over $12 million in Apple stock for his troubles. Photo shown below courtesy of  TUAW, with El Jobso preparing to mind meld with Cook, to give him infinite wisdom, patience, clarity, and clothing tips.  (A black turtleneck, Tim.  Not a polo.  OK?)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Let’s be honest — things drifted a bit when I was away

So yeah, Snow Leopard had some issues. The iPod team spent a year and rolled out a Nano with a camera. Now people are bitching about the new iPhone operating system 3.1 update which apparently has a feature called “Coma Mode.” People are even putting up complaints on our own message boards, faster than we can scrub them off.

Apple faithful, I’m going to level with you. I was gone for six months, and people slacked off. They just did. It happens. To be completely honest, for six months before my leave I wasn’t really here that much either. So yeah. They’ve had a year with no Jobso to scare the shit out of them. Rest assured that now that I’m back, the beatings will resume, morale will improve, and the trains will run on time again. And in case you’re still wondering what Apple would be like without Steve Jobs — well, now you know.