So those clever kids at the New Yorker think they’ve figured out a way around my dieresis ban. David Remnick, the editor of the magazine, has an uprising on his hands, with pissed-off New Yorker writers tearing the hair out of their powdered wigs and telling Remnick he needs to do something, goddammit!

So Remnick just put out a style guide memo saying that from now on the magazine will do two versions of every story. The version for print and Web browsers will contain the dieresis, as always. For the iPad they will make a new version that substitutes hyphens for the dieresis. As in, co-ordinate, re-elect.

Yeah, but no.

We’re now going to amend our developer guidelines to say that all content must use “conventional spelling and punctuation,” as defined by Apple, on a case-by-case basis.

The only question we have is whether we should tell the New Yorker about this now, or let them spend a few months fixing every article in their 85-year archive and then tell them.

The second way is more fun so that’s what we’ll probably do.

But either way, cock block! Yay us.