Instead, please think about my latest totally impromptu essay, Thoughts on Flash.

I realize you might be thinking that I just published this “Thoughts on Flash” thing as a way to distract attention from the Gizmodo affair, where, as Jon Stewart put it last night, we look like a bunch of jackbooted “appholes.”

You might be thinking that this whole Flash essay was just a cheesy attempt to bury the Gizmodo “breaking down doors” meme, especially since it’s pretty obvious that we leaked the Flash essay to our Chief Apologist John Gruber and told him to start whipping up some buzz on Twitter about it, and he followed orders.

You might also be thinking that this only makes us look even more manipulative and ridiculous.

If that is what you are thinking, please stop thinking that.

Again, I repeat: This is not what we want you to be thinking.

So please stop thinking about it. Right now.

Please, instead, think about Flash.

Get yourself worked up about Flash. Argue about it. Get angry about it!

And please, as I’ve already said, stop thinking about Gizmodo.

Going forward, if you’re ever in doubt about what you should think about, and you can’t get through to me personally, just read John Gruber’s blog, and he’ll tell you what I want you to think.

Failing that, you can always think about Gandhi, who loves his new iPad and is totally downloading apps like a madman.

And by the way, Gandhi would totally break down your door if you stole something that belonged to him. He would fuck up your shit. Seriously.

Okay.

That is all.

Peace.