Just got an email from one of engineers in the OS team warning me that they’re all getting hit with calls from recruiters trying to lure them to Google. Which is strange because I’m pretty sure Eric and I had a gentleman’s agreement about not poaching from each other. Although, as Katie points out, we now all realize that forming a “gentleman’s” anything with Eric Schmidt is kind of an oxymoron. I just called Eric and said, Dude, do I look like a female journalist to you? Do I look like a female PR executive? Do I have big hair and a spray tan and a great ass, and I’m not your wife? No? Then why are you so goddamned interested in fucking me?

He’s like, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I said, We had a deal where we wouldn’t steal each other’s engineers. Eric says, No, I never agreed to that. I’m like, Are you shitting me? You absolutely did say that. He goes, No, see, you have to go back and listen to what I said, because I was very precise in what I said to you, and what I said was that I wouldn’t steal any of your engineers. Meaning: me personally. And I’ve kept my word. I’m not making any calls. I haven’t talked to any of them.

I’m like, So this is how it’s going to be? Really? He goes, I have to run, it’s Larry calling on my other line and I’m supposed to be bringing him a coffee and now he’s gonna be pissed cause I’m late. Talk to you later.