Wanna’ save Detroit? Build a farm

Detroit is the poster child for a dying rotting out inner city. Every other building is an abandoned fire trap filled with rats, vermin, drug addicts and Michael Moore making his next pseudo-documentary. It reminds me of the freakin’ Bronx back in the seventies when landlords would torch their tenements for the insurance. Hell, insurance companies won’t even look at Detroit these days, and people can’t afford the accelerants to torch a building in the first place if only to keep their frozen asses warm for twenty or thirty minutes –


it’s easier to torch a sleeping hobo, instead. I prefer Sunbelt Republicans, myself, they’ve been baked and marinated for so long out here below the Mason Dixon and give off a warm incandescent glow that lasts for hours. Don’t tell Rahm Emmanuel or everybody’ll want one, it’s a bad enough economy as it is, he may convince Barry make it an official government program, then BAM!, old people and children to the front of the line, yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, woof, woof, woof and that’s all she wrote.

Anyway, what to do about Detroit? Well this bright eyes has a solution that I think is just dandy. I may be a born Brooklynite, but I was raised in The Garden State, and had a mother with green hands who taught her son well. Converting the ruined rubble to arable land may just be the ticket and be an innovative way to increase that withering tax base. And it’ll be good for people, too. A few apartment complexes within East Dallas set aside land for neighbors to make their own veg gardens, and it’s working awesomely. Personally, I think the city fathers of Detroit should legalize the production and sale of cannabis and turn their city into the new New Amsterdam . Oh, that would be awesome! The money from taxes alone would rejuvenate the city – imagine Detroit as a tourist destination – one can dream, can’t they? No more dependency on a dying industry, one that lives on handouts.


You wouldn’t need to set fire to a single Republican, again, well, maybe James Dobson for old times sakes. Who’s got a match?