Until iSlate is unveiled, no one is allowed in or out of county until further notice

The secret sauce that will make the miracle of Jobs so wunnerful is based at this multi-million dollar data center in North Carolina. This huge sonofabitch has to work without a hiccup once those iSlates start goin’ out the door and powering up. It’ll be handling streaming video, search results, cloud services, games, etcetera. The real test will be how well Verizon’s network can handle the traffic jam that will soon erupt. What I wanna know is how freakin’ Governor Rick Perry couldn’t court the Jobso to build that sumbitch either in Austin, San Antonio or Dallas (then again, maybe Jobs didn’t want his precious data center to be too close to Dr. Evil and Michael Dell).

We offered our services but Jobs just stared at me without blinking. Ever. And they say I'm creepy.

What? What? Is it my cologne? C'mon, let's talk turkey ...