Subscribe to my Twitter feed, @fsjblog. I’ll be using it Wednesday morning from backstage so you can get a sense of what’s going on back there behind the curtain. I’ll bring you all the color and excitement and drama. Will Katie faint? Will Phil Schiller pee his pants again? Will there be any celebrities hanging out?

Better yet, I will also be tweeting during my own presentation. How can I do it? Well, for one thing, I don’t actually need to drive the presentation when I’m onstage. We have a backup guy backstage with his own Mac that is doing the exact same thing that mine does. When I change slides, he changes slides. If for whatever reason my machine hiccups or freezes, we switch to the backstage guy and his computer drives the screen onstage, and I just keep clicking, as if I’m doing it. Cool, right?

We practice this hand-off about a thousand times before we go onstage, until we can do it so quickly that nobody notices. Usually we don’t need it. But the great thing is that because we have this back-up in place, at any point in the keynote I can go on auto-pilot and just let my buddy backstage do the driving, and this frees me up to send tweets via an iPhone in my pocket and a mental telepathy app that we’ve developed but aren’t yet ready to share because the thought-to-text conversion is still not perfect.

So, yeah. Tune in to @fsjblog on Wednesday. It’ll be fun. Oh, and Twitter guys? Can you please get your shit together this time so that the whole system doesn’t freeze up and crash the way it usually does during a Stevenote? Thanks, dickwads.