Chokehold worked — or did it?

AT&T is promising to fix its network, and as Tim Cook said on our earnings call yesterday, “We have personally reviewed these plans, and we have very high confidence that they will make significant progress toward fixing them.”

Which all sounds great, right? Users complained, and the big corporate behemoth responds by promising to improve service.

Yeah. Except, no. You have to know how to parse Tim’s statement.

What Tim actually meant was, “If these evil douchebags were as good at putting up cell towers as they are at putting out press releases then we wouldn’t have these problems. But anyway, we’re done with them.”

Amen to that. We’re totally done with these boneheads, and they know it, and all this talk about building out their network is a bunch of crap. They’re not going to fix their network. Their plan all along was to milk our users and goose their earnings. It’s a short-term adrenalin boost for their EPS and it can’t be sustained, because they know everyone will leave as soon as they can. But this is the way big corporate America thinks now — you focus on this quarter and hope the future will take care of itself. AT&T figures they can manage the decline because they’ve got everyone locked into long-term contracts. During the downward glide path they go looking for another gimmick to goose their earnings.

Yes, it’s stupid and short-sighted and foolish. Sadly, in corporate America, it’s par for the course.