A trillion colors? Who freakin’ counted ’em?

Now hol' on jus' a darn minnit thair ...!

When you’re at CES , you’re in a world of the superfluous and the supercilious superlatives. Your senses are supersaturated to the point of superburnout. But sometimes, I gotta’ stop and say, “No freakin’ way!” or “You’re obviously lying now!”. Take this nice new feature from Sharp called QuadPixel – this supposedly gives an LED HDTV the ability to display a trillion colors – a trillion – how do they know this? – are there really that many gradations in the electromagnetic spectrum? How thin do they slice this bologna? How the hell do you distinguish

two shades of furious pink - and Megan Fox!

one hue of furious pink from another? Does the brain or eyes or something else actually do this shit? Is this really gonna’ make that much of an enjoyment difference

Ah know whut ah lahks an ah knows how tah gets it, hyuck!

to Joe Shmoe who just wants to watch NFL football, amateur porn and The Biggest Loser? Is this going to enhance the kids’ enjoyment of VeggieTales or Huckleberry Hound? Is Mom gonna’ have a joygasm in her brain while contemplating the infinite color spectrum

Housewives often joygasm on the floor watching my show - no, they really do, truly!

of  The Bonnie Hunt show? Can’t we just watch television – anymore – you know? – tee vee? – we all watch crap most of the time, not Nature or National Geographic. How much better must the experience get? How long before we are in the picture and we can’t distinguish reality from pixels?