Larry buys a tennis tournament

A man whose dick shall know no rest even eight years after he finally passes on, it’ll still be standing upright, hopping furiously up and down, cruising down the street with it’s one eye, looking for tail or at least a nice safe warm cave to keep out the chill at night, though I’m pretty sure Larry is setting himself up right now as we speak to be one of those immortals who’ll still be traipsing the universe infecting the cosmos with his special brand of joy while the rest of us living right now will have been expired and ground up and repackaged as Kennel Ration or Gerbers brand soylent green baby food or fertilizer for future cattle feed, excuse me, I do go on, it’s the eight liters of CokeĀ®, it’s all that sugar and caffeine, anyway, jeez, Larry Ellison has forked out of his own pocket chump change, as far as we can tell, and bought from a small l’il consortium of has beens and who da fucks the big big Indian Wells tennis tournaments, a major pussy parade, not quite the debauched meat market as The Byron Nelson (whatever brand name sponsoring) Golf Classic in Irving Los Colinas, Texas, in fact, it’s a bit more tonier and upmarket as a lot of rank amateurs sluts are infecting the golf tourneys now, and seeing as Tiger truly shown his quality (the John Gosselin of golf?) , tennis seems far more respectful now, so this is truly a wise purchase on Larry’s part, prestigious, professional and definitely better class of trim. Say hi to Scott Adams, Larry, he’s a regular attendee, but don’t hit on his wife, okay?

Say, you think Andy Rooney will know who you are now, Larry?

a four hundred year old land tortoise

veritable 60 Minutes commentator Andy Rooney