Crashberry user revolt grim for RIM

100% user outage over entire North American Continent. I’ll write that again. 100% user outage over entire North American Continent. It’s enough to bring tears of joy. Right after better than expected earnings report.If that was the Internet, it’d be an international calamity. Instead, we have a huge portion of disgruntled users


of a creaking proprietary push technology that’s been due for an overhaul since, oh, I dunno, I never had one, so do I sound like I care, do I, do I really sound like I care, do I, do I really? I mean, WTF Crashberry users, you’re chained to, what, a proprietary piece of  shit software that ain’t worth the piece of shit circuit board that it courses through like a lethargic constipated nosebleeding racehorse . There’s still a chance for Christmas joy – buy an iPhone – yes, I know, AT&T, but not for long, if you have any connection to reality left, you must realize, not for long. Talk to your boss, your idiot IT department moron manager who’s probably wanking himself silly waiting for NexusOne, which is only going to be released to the ill-chosen few*, instead of a massive rollout. I recommend a mace and a couple of Louisville sluggers, you can still get those at WAL-MART, they make for very persuasive arguments. And be sure to download Skype and Vonage, so you can bypass AT&T’s crappy network. Hey, it’s gonna be a tough year, folks, it’s time to show these kielbasa chuggers who’s lining their pockets. Let free dumb rain on somebody else’s plane, drop your piece of silicon heroin in the trash and move up to sanity.

*Okay, I drew the short straw, leave me alone already…