Maybe you’ve heard that uber-blogger Michael Arrington of TechCrunch has been trying to build a tablet computer called the CrunchPad, and supposedly he was going to kick everyone’s ass, including ours, with a $300 device that would be better than anything else in the world. Alas, tragedy has struck, and the CrunchPad is dead, as Mike explains in a very sad post today. What happened is, Arrington had a partner on the project, a company called Fusion Garage. But somehow Fusion Garage decided that they were just going to take over the CrunchPad and sell it on their own, without Arrington. Whoops. How’d this happen? Arrington says the very dashing guy who runs Fusion Garage, Chandra Bhenchodaramanakrishnan (photo) won’t return his calls or emails. Hence, lawsuits. Or so Arrington says.

I’d like to tell you that we’re not enjoying this pathetic sideshow, but, well — you know. All I can say is, Welcome to the jungle, blogger boy. This kind of treachery and backstabbery is stuff I deal with every goddamn day. It’s par for the course in the hardware world. Every piece of hardware we’ve ever built, we’ve had to deal with this shit.

And I’m not talking this lame ass kind of move where some jackass says he’s taking your stuff, so you just go, Okay, we give up, I guess we just won’t make the product. Please. These penny ante bullshit artists wouldn’t even register on our radar. We’re dealing with the goddamn Chinese. And Intel. I’m talking about some monstrous, major league buttbangers. I’m talking prison rules. You blink? You show a nanosecond of weakness? Bang! They’ve got you over the bench. With this guy Chandra, we wouldn’t even bother getting angry. We’d just send Moshe over for a visit.

Mike says he’s upset because he thought he and Chandra were really good friends and were going to be friends for the rest of their lives. And now his “friend” has fucked him. Hello? You do write about Silicon Valley for a living, right?

Little bit of advice for you, Mike. You say you’re confused because the folks at Fusion Garage won’t return your calls and email? And now, you’re just mostly feeling all sad about the whole thing? Bitch, please. Get some guys, get in your fucking cars, and drive over there and beat some asses with baseball bats. Do you not understand this? And please don’t tell me you don’t have the stomach for physical violence, because if that’s the case, what the hell were you doing trying to get into the hardware business in the first place? This isn’t blogging, where you pussies have your little bitch fights over someone reprinting your stuff and not giving you enough credit for the scoop. You’re not having a little Twitter fight with Kara Swisher. Good God, man, This is hardware.

Now put on a copy of Gladiator, or The Godfather, get your boys fired up, and drive the fuck over to the Fusion Garage and break some heads.

Or, on the other hand, don’t. Just stick to blogging. It’s a hell of a lot easier than trying to build stuff.