As soon as we break free of AT&T, our stock is headed to the moon

Some Wall Street analyst obtains a clue, and raises her estimates for 2010. Our internal target is $250, but I’m getting options dated back to last January, when shares were at $80. Sweet.

As Business Insider reports this morning, Kathryn Huberty (our IR people call her “Puberty” or sometimes “Pubes,” for short) of Morgan Stanley just did a report saying that if we can break free of our exclusive deals with AT&T and other carriers, we can more than double our market share, from 4 percent to 10 percent. In the U.S., where we’re now at 4.9 percent, she thinks we could get to 12.2 percent. (For what it’s worth, how do these people come up with predictions like “12.2” percent? What’s the “.2” about? I swear they do it so that it all sounds more scientific, when really they’re just sitting in an office throwing darts at the wall.)

Anyway, this all translates into more units sold, which translates into more dollars coming to Apple, which translates to more profits, which translates to a higher stock price. Obviously I can’t recommend you buy our stock, and I wouldn’t do that. Nope. I would not do that. Not me. No way. That’s now what this is about. This is not a forward-looking statement. Okay? Peace.