I need a Blogger code jockey

Have decided to stick with Blogger for a while — Eric begged me not to go. I told him I hate these goddamn templates and want a custom design. He said he’d give me one of his best designers and I’m like, Uh, nothing personal, but have you looked at the Web pages your “best people” put out? Have you seen the Google home page? You’re getting out-styled by Bing. That’s like going on Celebrity Jeopardy and losing to Sean Connery.

Anyway, I need some code assistance from someone who understands the frigtarded mess that is the Blogger infrastructure. Do such people even exist? Or have they all long ago fled to WordPress?