Linux: Gaping security hole discovered

This according to our old freetard pal Steven J. Vaughan-Cut-and-Paste, who says there’s a major problem with Linux that’s been out there forever, unaddressed, leaving millions of people vulnerable, involving “essentially every version of Linux that anyone is likely to be running.” Best part is his mealy-mouthed lead, where SJVN writes: “Everything has security problems, even Linux.” Really? That’s weird, because it seems to me the freetards have spent the past decade going around claiming that Linux has some kind of super voodoo that makes it invulnerable to hackers. Isn’t this the same SJVN who recently said Windows users should be banned from the Internet because Windows wasn’t secure? Now it seems Linux is just as bad as Windows. Maybe worse, since this gaping hole has been around for years and none of those sharp-eyed freetard contributors managed to spot it. But no doubt we’ll still get some self-congratulatory freetarded articles saying that this episode just shows again how great the open source movement is because, see, the code is open, so the freetards can spot the problems and fix them! Except, um, when they don’t. Like in this case. God knows how many computers have been compromised, or how many of us, even those who don’t use shit-ass Linux, have been harmed. Thanks a lot, you irresponsible freetarded amateurs.

To add just a delicious bit of extra frisson to the story, it turns out the Linux security hole involves the GCC compiler, which, if memory serves, was originally created by that wizardly master programmer, Richard M. Stallman. Good work, fucktard! Your sloppy code means hackers will soon be shutting down power grids and stealing all of the money in every bank in the world. Or something.

Meanwhile, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Yes, Windows sucks and you should not be using it. But the answer isn’t Linux. The answer is a Mac. Yes, it costs more. That’s because we go out and hire really good people, and those people demand to be paid for their work. The best people always do. You think Picasso just gave his stuff away? You get what you pay for, kids. In the case of you Linux users, you got a big fat freebie that had a big fat security hole. For all you know, it was put there on purpose by some nasty Russian posing as a fellow freetard with a helpful “contribution.” You think Stallman keeps records of who put what code where, and on what date? Yeah. Go track him down in Ecuador and see if you can get him to stop eating his hair and singing the “Free Software Song” long enough to remember where he put that scrap of paper with the password for his source code management system (ha) from 1987. Or was it 1996? Idiots.