The poor filthy hacks at are in mourning today after learning that their beloved leader, Jim Spanfeller, is leaving. One of them writes in to say, “Has anyone else noticed the incredible resemblance between Jim Spanfeller, our just-deposed overlord with a penchant for bullying editors and exaggerating traffic stats and generally being a total loudmouthed tool to everyone within earshot, and a certain aggressive employee of the Slate Rock and Gravel Co.? Could they be related?”

The hacks also have sent along this previously unseen video of Spanny and his crack team working up their numbers and preparing to report another record quarter:

And here are grief-stricken Forbes editorial employees spilling outdoors in response to the news of Spanny’s departure:

Says one: “Who will yell at us now and tell us that we aren’t making our numbers? Who will be there to make Dan Bigman cry? Who will make sure that our editorial `product’ is of the highest quality?”

Says another: “Is the nude beach slideshow still running? What about the sexiest celebrity tweens?”

Much love, unnamed Forbes Silicon Valley reporter/stalker. Thanks for the material.