That’s because they’re using an iPhone app to find speed traps and avoid them. First of all, that’s not cowardly. That’s something else altogether. It’s called intelligence. Have you heard of it? Oh, that’s right. You’re a cop. That concept wouldn’t be on your radar, would it?

Anyway, it’s not the iPhone that’s responsible. What makes this app work is people. Everyone sends in info when they spot a speed trap, and they build a database. It’s the wisdom of crowds. The technology is just a weapon we’ve given them so they can fight the power. Now they’re collaborating. They’re banding together. They’re standing up to the man, and the man can’t stand it, man. One thing tyrants can’t handle is an organized peasantry. Note to D.C. police: We’ll give you our iPhones when you take them from our cold, dead hands!

This is just like the war on drugs. It’s all about taking away our freedom, invading our personal lives. Letting one small group oppress everyone else. The truth is, these lazy corrupt fascist D.C. cops set up ridiculous speed traps as a way to bring in easy money. Now they’re squealing because we’ve found a way to outsmart them. Wah! You hit the man where it hurts — in the pocketbook — and he doesn’t like it, does he? The caveman cops want to blame technology. But notice that you didn’t hear the pigs complaining about technology when they were the ones using technology to oppress us and take away our freedom. What really drives them nuts is that our tactics are perfectly legal. Listen up, people. I’ve been the victim of police brutality. I hate cops more than anything else in the world, except Finns. This kind of technology-driven revolution is exactly what Woz and I envisioned when we started the company. Damn! I’m so fired up with anger and righteous indignation! I’m going to put on some Rage Against the Machine and stomp around my office like Zack de la Rocha. Check out what Zack has to say about oppressive traffic laws in South America:

Awesome, right? I don’t speak Peruvian, so I don’t understand a word of what he’s saying. But the anger — and the truth — still come through. Viva la revolucion, mis hermanos. Peace out.