Rest in peace, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett & Michael Jackson,
O sidekick
O angel
O scary freak from hell–
You know how they say that bad news comes in threes?
Well I have to admit
I was kind of crapping my pants
when Ed passed, & then Farrah,
& then for a while the number three slot
was just hanging out there, unoccupied,
& I’m like, Dear sweet baby Jesus,
I don’t care which celebrity buys it next,
just as long as it’s not me.
Then came the news about Michael,
& all I could say was,
Whew.
Okay.
I would have bet on Swayze, but still.
We’ll take it.
Phil Schiller sent around an email saying
that in memory of Michael,
Wal-Mart would be running a special offer:
boy’s underpants, half off.
A bit unkind of him, I think.
Not very original, either.
Now he’s in trouble with HR.
Honestly, Phil. You should know better.