Gawker, I need your help

Those are words I never thought I’d write. But here’s the deal. The idiots at Reuters have sent a secretary to stake out my house. It’s sick. I’m calling on Gawker (or anyone else with some spare cycles) to go confront this birdbrain, take pictures, or take video (like with your super tasty new iPhone 3GS) and humiliate Reuters for being such assholes. Seriously, my fellow citizen journalists — it’s time to fight back! And would someone get Jim Goldman and his crew on this pronto? And bring me a chai latte at exactly 165 degrees? Jesus. Thank you.