I am so happy for the nice folks at Palm. No, really.

So I just saw the news about Palm’s results and I must say, it brightened my day. Sales down 25% from about $400 million last year to just under $300 million this year, and a tasty net loss of $43 million. Sweet!

I just sent Jon Rubinstein (right) an email congratulating him on doing such a bang-up job. What a brilliant strategy. You turn your $500 Treo into a $100 Centro, sell each unit at a massive loss, and make it up on volume. How totally brilliant! Why didn’t we think of that? I mean here at Apple we’re still stuck in that old-economy mindset where you sell stuff for more than what it costs you to make it. Meanwhile Palm is getting inquiries from Chris Anderson of Wired who wants to do a big cover story on how “selling for less than cost” is the new future of business.

Great work, Ruby. Same goes to all you other Apple traitors who jumped ship because you fell for Ruby’s bullshit line about how that Linux-based Nova operating system is going to be an iPhone killer. Riiiight. One thing I’d like to point out to you all is that I know Ruby really well, back from our days at NeXT, and he’s a brilliant guy, but here’s the thing — he’s a hardware guy. Last time I checked, however, smartphones are about software. Oops.

And hey kids? If you really want to scare the crap out of yourselves, check out your company’s official earnings statement and scroll down to the balance sheet. Little item called “Total stockholders’ equity.” Look at where it is today versus a year ago. Teeny tiny drop from $1 billion last year to $100 million now.

Well, nothing to worry about, I’m sure. Ahem. Anyway, much love to all of you. We miss you. Not really. And if you’re thinking about maybe you’ll crawl back here when Palm goes under, um, don’t bother. Peace.