So I’d heard talk around the Valley that Roger was playing in some band (photo above is from a recent gig) and was letting his hair grow out a bit and that it was kind of, um, unusual for a guy who runs a big Valley private equity firm, Elevation Partners, that has Bono as a partner and owns a big chunk of Palm Inc., as well as some other things, including some right-wing magazine from the East Coast. But honestly I had no idea how shaggy the guy has become. Then I ran into him the other day, and I swear I didn’t even recognize him.

He was coming out of a head shop in Palo Alto with this huge shopping bag under his arm and he said hi to me. My first thought was, Why is this homeless guy talking to me? My second thought is that maybe I should take Larry’s advice and get a bodyguard so that people can’t just come up to me and start talking, like that crazy Violent Blue woman did a while back at Macworld.

But then McNamee was like, Seriously, Steve, we are going to crush the iPhone, I’m not bragging, I’m just saying, it’s totally true — and I recognized that voice of his, and I was like, Roger? Is that you? What the fuck happened to you? You look like Rip Van Winkle, dude.

Because I’m not even joking, he totally does, and honestly his hair is way down past his shoulders.

He’s like, What do you mean? Oh, you mean the hair? Yup, I’m rocking the long hair. You like it?

I’m like, Dude, did you make a bet or something? Like you wouldn’t cut your hair until Palm starts making money? I sure hope not because if so you’re going to have hair down to your ass, my brother. You’ll look like Cousin It.

He just laughed, and then he went on and on about his band was gonna be opening for the Marshall Tucker Band and did I want some backstage passes, and I was like are they the guys who did “Freebird,” and he just laughed again and said seriously he was like this close to living the dream and becoming a full-blown rock star and once that happens he’s going to drop this whole investment thing altogether.

To get an idea of what the Valley has done to this guy’s head since he moved here from the East Coast 20 years ago, check out the original clean-cut Roger. Then check out slight shaggy Roger which was shaggy but nothing extreme. Then there was the shaggy but still preppy Roger.

Roger, I’m your friend, okay? Not really. But look. People are talking. People are worried. But nobody dares to say anything, so fuck it, I’ll do it. You need a haircut, my brother. Doesn’t have to be short, but just neaten it up. Okay? At the very least you need some conditioner. Consider this an intervention. For your hair. For God’s sake, man. Do something. Oh, and good luck with Palm.