She bows out tomorrow

Fear not, Apple faithful. Our long national nightmare is almost over. Though the Hildebeast has been boasting about carrying on her campaign, Larry tells me he was just on the phone with Bill and Bill says the beast will withdraw tomorrow. FWIW, Larry says Bill actually sounds kind of happy about the whole thing. Larry’s theory all along has been that Bill was hoping Hill would fail. For one thing he’s got the alpha dog syndrome and doesn’t want his wife outdoing him. For another, he doesn’t want eight years of scrutiny and having to behave himself. He’s been very happy playing golf and chasing tail with Ron Burkle and shaking down foreign governments for huge speaking fees.

Whenever this ugly spectacle ends — tomorrow or two weeks from now — I hope everyone will take heart from the fact that the Valley had a great deal to do with sinking Hillary’s chances. Plain and simple, people out here wouldn’t pony up. We all gave money to Bill and we all were disappointed with the results. So this time we went for Barry. Sure, these politicians might like hanging out with the celebrities in Hollywood, and they may think the money guys on Wall Street are great pals, but the real money and power in this country resides right here in Silicon Valley. If you want our money, you come out here and kiss the ring and play nice. You take our list of demands, and you do what we tell you. Lesson to pols: Do not fuck with the Valley.