Attention iPhone queue actors: Wrong week, assholes

Jesus I am freaking the hell out. I just had Katie and Phil in here mumbling excuses and trying to blame the contractor who hired the actors for the iPhone queue outside the Fifth Avenue store in New York. As you may have read, the bozos started lining up yesterday — a full two weeks ahead of schedule. I mean we’ve worked this out for months here in our Fifth Avenue mock-up set in Building X at the Cupertino headquarters. We’ve had rehearsal after rehearsal after rehearsal. How to give our rain gear, when to give our water, what kind of ratty-looking folding chairs to use. We’ve had these unemployed actors doing week-long run-throughs, and everything has been perfect.

And now this. Phil says it’s the contractor in New York who got the folks out on the sidewalk and had them out there chanting until we got wind of it and had them hustled away. I told Phil it doesn’t matter who screwed up, the whole thing falls on him. Moshe and his boys are dealing with Phil now. Then it’ll be Katie’s turn. It’s the full Gitmo for both of them. Sorry but it has to be done. Peace out.