Borg: People really, really want us to fuck up their coffee tables, and we’re committed to making that happen


See this Fortune article where Borgtards say consumers are just clamoring for that Surface coffee table and Microsoft is working night and day to bring out a product within the next three years. Headline says that means 2011 but the dudes at Fortune forgot to use Microsoft math. See, in Microsoft math, “three years from now” is 2018. That’s for the fucked-up beta version. RTM happens in 2020, still with loads of bugs. SP1 for Surface ships in 2025 and by then Microsoft is owned by Google so the table comes pre-loaded with Google’s useless productivity apps that nobody wants and tiny little text ads all around the edges. Or something. Photo above shows Ballmer deciding which tiny company to put out business. See, to obliterate the company I just touch the map, like this, and — oh wait. That’s Redmond. Er …