Andrew Young says Bill Clinton is black because he’s slept with lots of black women. Larry says in that case, he’s Asian.


So apparently this is a true story. Andrew Young actually said that Bill Clinton is black and that this is the case because Bill has bedded a great number of African-American women. Bob Herbert column from the New York Times cited this comment in his column (see it here). The actual quote: “Bill is every bit as black as Barack. He’s probably gone with more black women than Barack.” Herbert was outraged, but Larry, who just called me, says this is amazing news for him. As you know, Larry has accomplished everything he set out do in life except for two things — one is he wants to break Wilt Chamberlain’s record (and he’s closing in, believe me) and the other is he wants to be Asian. (Hence all the weird plastic surgery on his eyes. Someone should do a sequence of photos showing how he’s changed over the years. It’s not as dramatic as Michael Jackson, but almost.)

Anyway, Larry says he’s looking into this race-change-by-intercourse theory, and if there’s any truth to it, he’s going to declare himself officially Japanese. Or maybe he’ll have a transitional phase as a Caublasian, like Tiger Woods. Then he’ll go fully Asian in a few years. More as this develops.