Dear readers, she MUST be stopped

Much love to our Art Director, Jason, for this wonderful bit of Photoshop work. There’s a week to go until Super Tuesday and I am not exaggerating when I say this to you — the future of our nation hangs in the balance. I mean I never thought I’d agree with anything Teddy Kennedy said or did, but today it happened. The big moron somehow got his blood alcohol level down to three times the legal limit and pulled himself out of his perma-coma long enough to stand up and give a speech endorsing my good friend Barry Obama. Unfortunately, the polls still show the She-Beast leading Barry in most of the big important states. Which is why I’m now pulling out the trump card, the one I did not want to play but now feel I must: Apple employees and Apple faithful, I’m ordering you to vote for Obama. Okay? It’s important. If you need to know more about why I’m doing this, see this article which says Hillary v. Obama is analogous to Microsoft v. Apple. That’s right. Obama is Apple. He’s one of us.