Team is installed. Operation Cold Sore in full operation. Listening devices installed at Microsoft and Sony suites. We are compiling list of products that claim iPod compatibility without paying for Apple approval. Subpoenas to be served tomorrow. Special ops working to undermine network connections to booths of HP, Dell and Lenovo. Where possible we will compromise display machines themselves.

Meanwhile in Bay Area Microsoft spokesblogger Om Malik is recovering from heart attack and has been made aware of how this happened; promises to change his ways and start loving Apple. Biological agents ready to go on other Microsoft shills. Waiting for signal from you.