Shareholder suits: These whingeing bastards won’t go away

My goodness. These idiots already got spanked once but now they’re back again with an amended complaint saying I’m a bad guy and did something funky with options and they all want some of our money waaaaa …

Money quote: “The suit also takes issue with an Apple special committee finding that only two former company executives engaged in backdating options. The special committee exonerated Jobs, saying he was not aware of stock options accounting rules and had not personally profited from the backdated shares. The lawsuit, however, alleges that Jobs was allowed to exchange 55 million backdated options for an equal value of Apple stock, which totalled 10 million shares.”

Look. We conducted a thorough investigation. Al Gore, one of the world’s leading experts on forensic accounting, signed off on the whole thing. I had nothing to do with any of this. It was two of my direct reports, operating completely without my knowledge or consent. There’s nothing to see here, folks. Let’s just move along, shall we? Much love to Pravin for keeping us up to date on this.