So you’ve probably heard that I got a medal this week from my friend Arnold as I was inducted into the California Hall of Fame. You may also have heard that I tried to weasel out of actually going to the ceremony, because it was all the fucking way up in Sacramento and when you think about it who’s ever heard of the California Hall of Fame? I didn’t even know it existed. Plus like the truth of these award ceremonies is they have nothing to do with the people getting the awards and everything to do with the people giving the award. Bottom line, Arnold wanted a nice publicity stunt with some big names like Tiger Woods and Willie Mays up there on a stage with him. Which is all well and good for Arnold. But why do I have to schlep all the fucking way up there and waste most of a day on this bullshit? Jesus. And it’s not like they were paying me anything for this. Not even travel expenses. And not to be a dick or anything but the medal wasn’t even real gold; it’s just a cheap thing with some fake shiny paint on it.

So I tried to bounce it. I said they really should be giving the prize to Woz, because he was the one who did all the work in the early days. Woz was all psyched and ready to go. He had his bags packed and stuffed into the back of his Prius. But no. Arnold wanted me. El Jobso, with the huge charisma and the three zillion candlepower star appeal. In the end there was just no way out of it. Katie said no matter what I did I would just look like a dick. Especially since Maria and Arnold were making all these threats about how they would tell the whole story to Valleywag or Fortune and make me look like an asshole.

So I went. Under duress, but I went. Even so, Maria still couldn’t resist taking some cheap shots. Check out the quote at the bottom of this story. “First Lady Shriver noted that Jobs was extremely reluctant to attend the ceremony, for personal reasons. “He’s trying to balance children, family, business,” Shriver told NBC, and “he doesn’t like to be singled out. He believes that Apple is the star of the Silicon Valley, not him.“

You have to understand that when Maria said this last bit, the entire press corps burst out laughing. She was totally busting my stones. Friggin skeleton.