Daddy, I want an iPhone!


Dear reader Mike, you have warmed my old man’s tiny stone of a heart by sending in a link to this article from the Wall Street Journal saying that even tiny little brats now want iPhone for Christmas instead of toys. If this is true then it’s just a huge double whammy bit of good news for us because not only will we sell more products but the huge evil toy companies will get kneecapped as well. (Honestly, when will Michael Moore do a big investigative documentary on the toy companies? Pure evil.) Anyway, says one father of a six-year-old: “She’s not after a doll. There’s not one traditional gift she’s asking for this year. She’s asking: Can I have an iPhone?”

Only problem I can foresee is that the little monsters have a tendency to write pain in the ass letters to Apple suggesting “improvements.” Then we have to smack them down and tell them to shut the fuck up and they go running to the press to say we’re mean or something. The real problem as I see it is that parents just don’t discipline their kids anymore.