Report: Ballmer smashing furniture again

So we’re not freaking out about the Google VaporPhone but apparently Microsoft is. That is what we’re hearing from some of our operatives on the Borg mothership. As you know over the years we’ve let some of our less-than-vital employees be “recruited” to Redmond so that they can feed us information. Word in this morning is that Ballmer was flipping out yesterday over the Google announcement which is aimed squarely at Windows Mobile. Our spies tell us there is nothing — nothing — that drives Monkey Boy around the bend more than Google. First there was all this talk of a Web operating system that makes Windows unnecessary; then talk of a Google PC; then all those free Google desktop applications; now this. Ballmer was screaming about how effing Google can’t think of anything effing original so all they can effing do is effing copy what effing Microsoft has already effing done. “I am going to fucking bury these guys, I swear to fucking God! I killed Netscape and I will kill these guys too! God-fucking-dammit I will fucking kill those bastards at Google if it’s the last fucking thing I ever do! Kill them! Kill them! Aaaaargh!”

Well, you can see the results above. Our informant tells us that they now have a special conference room adjacent to Monkey Boy’s office and it’s filled with old stuff that they were going to throw out. They send Uncle Fester there to do his smashing. He calls it his “gym” and refers to the activity as “having a workout.” When he’s done they throw the stuff out and fill the room back up again. For big days they let him smash old CRT televisions and computer monitors. Yesterday was a five-TV day. Nice.