So I was looking through some recent photos of myself on this site. It’s just something I do on a regular basis, just to check myself out. Like looking at myself in the mirror and photographing myself nude once a month for the sake of posterity. And as I was looking at these recent photos, especially the one shown above, I realized yet again why women are so drawn to me and why people of all cultures and genders and races and whatever just find me so charismatic and hypnotic. Fair enough, I’m a genius, and brilliant, and all that. But it really boils down to something much more simple. At the end of the day, you have to admit this: I am one sexy bitch.

I mean look at that expression. Is that a grin? Or am I pissed about something? Am I about to give you a spanking? My guess is that somebody in PR spoke to me without being spoken to first, and I was giving them my trademarked “You must be shitting me” withering glance.

Whatever I was thinking, no doubt this photo is totally bad-ass. Katie says she’s going to send it out to everyone in the company in an email so that employees can update their shrines. Look for it later today in your mailboxes, people. We’ll also be distributing special high-quality photo paper for you to print it on. One piece each so do not screw up.

And hey, iJustine? You’re welcome.