So I got the Leopard update. Put it on my MacBook Pro and got the dead screen that everybody is talking about. So just to test things out I call into our tech support center in Austin just like a regular frigtard, and I give them a fake name. They put me on hold. Music. More music. Guy comes back. Asks me a series of increasingly stupid questions. Tells me it appears to be my fault. Asks me if I’m new to Mac and how long I’ve had my machine. Gets all attitudinous on me. Asks me if I know what kind of processor my machine has. Starts to explain about the Apple icon and the “About this Mac” thing. I explain that I can’t read that since my friggin machine is now totally friggin dead. He tells me I should have written all that down before I started the upgrade, and since I didn’t do that I’ve violated my Mac terms of service and Apple doesn’t owe me any service. He says I should take my machine to a local Apple store and get in line and wait for support. He says phone support is pretty badly overworked because Leopard is crashing all over the place and they’re getting swamped with pissed-off people but that it’s not Apple’s fault because in most cases the problem is that people have done something wrong with their Macs which made the Leopard upgrade not work right. He says the dopes in Cupertino should have seen this coming and put on more staff for this weekend. Then he starts in on how lately his job in Apple tech support is just a world of shit and first they had issues with iPhone and then with the new iMacs and some of the new iPods are a total mess and it’s all because friggin Steve Jobs has started using cheapo components in order to save money.

I asked for his name. He told me it was Patrick. I said, Patrick what? He said Patrick Siooma. I thanked him and hung up.

Called Ja’Red and told him to get a tech support person over here to the Jobs Domicile immediamente, if not sooner. Even that guy couldn’t get the Dear Leader’s machine working correctly. So he left me with a new machine and said he’ll get the old one sorted out. Frankly I’m not so crazy about this Leopard stuff. There’s too much eye candy, too much going on. Plus I knew Tiger really well and I don’t feel like learning something new. But like Phil Schiller says, you gotta keep rolling out new stuff. Doesn’t matter what it is as long as it’s new. Fair enough. He’s got a point.

In case you’re wondering, young Patrick in Austin had a visit from one of Moshe’s guys last night. Let’s just say he won’t be coming to work on Monday. But we’ll definitely send some really nice flowers to the funeral.