Google offers $30 billion for Facebook, plus $5 billion bonus if Randi Jayne stops singing

Sergey says he’s not even kidding. He’ll do it just to shut them down so everyone can get back to work. He says somebody at Google has created a Facebook app that lets you calculate how many hours of productivity you’ve lost by screwing around on Facebook, and the numbers at Google are incredible. Also Sergey says he can’t stand that everyone keeps calling Facebook “the new Google” and worse yet he really can’t stand those videos that Randi and her friends keep making where it’s clear they all think they’re so friggin cool because pretty soon they’re all going to be mega rich for no apparent reason. Sergey says Facebook isn’t even a tech company and he doesn’t know why everyone gets so excited over it and he’s really appalled by the comparison to Google because “at least we made a real product and added real value.” Ahem. I tried to tell him that all the things he feels about Facebook were things the rest of us old-timers felt about Google. And still feel. He doesn’t get it. Squirrel Boy does, though. He’s old enough to understand. He just doesn’t care because he’s lucky enough to be driving the gravy train.

Meanwhile Joy of Tech today explains why Faceberg now thinks his company is worth $15 billion. See here. Much love to dear reader Zoli for sending in the link. (Photos: Burt Hammer, Highlights for Children.)