Goddammit, I just know Al Gore is going to get the Nobel

See here. He’s the odds-on favorite this year. Now look. I know I should be happy for him. But I have to be honest. It hurts. As many of you know I have this silly habit of sitting by the phone on the day the Nobel winners are announced. Now it looks pretty certain that this year I’m out and Al is the man. Sure, I’ll smile and tell him how great this is. I’ll probably even host a party for him. But deep down inside, it’s killing me. The Oscar I could deal with. But man oh man. The Nobel? It’s something I’ve wanted for years, and Al knows it. Well I hope it doesn’t mess up our friendship. Do you have any idea how insufferable he’ll be if he gets this? He’s already the biggest windbag I’ve ever met. If I didn’t need him to fend off the SEC he’d be out on his ass in a heartbeat. Jerry York says I should just STFU because if Al wins this then he’s a shoo-in for president, and if Al Gore is president we can get away with anything. (Photo paid for by Norman Hsu, Democratic National Committee.)