Look at this one, where he says, “There’s great upside potential for Microsoft.” He goes on to say that investors are missing a great bargain because Microsoft dominates so many markets and gee what would happen if the Borg ever got its act together? Naturally the money quote comes at the very end and it’s a doozy: “The problem is that it is difficult to look objectively at the company when you are confronted with its products daily, and they often contribute to daily frustration. Everyone is taking it out on the stock.”

Yeah. Funny how that works. You sit there all day tearing your hair out and screaming at your crashed or frozen Windows machine or trying to figure out how to get Word to stop putting shit into the document you’re creating and wondering if you need to call an exorcist because maybe the machine is possessed by the devil — and then, yeah, you’re just not all that psyched about buying Microsoft stock. Weird.

I swear Dvorak just commits to too many columns and then has nothing to say and it’s due in thirty minutes so he just bangs out crap like this. It’s gotta be that.