Vonage, look. Hear me on this. I know you’re in trouble. Your business sucks, and you’re getting a little desperate. But it is wrong to exploit women to sell products. It is wrong to use sex to sell products. Bokay? And no, it’s not somehow nicer if you speak French and call it a branlette espagnole. It’s still wrong. Furthermore, this disgusting Web site of yours is offensive and nasty and should be taken down immediately. Folks, where’s the outrage? Where are the bloggers on this? You know who else should be ashamed? All these lame-ass B-list celebs who whored themselves out at this party and pretended they really give a shit about Vonage. A pox upon you, I say!

To my readers who are upset about having to look at this, I’m sorry. But the only way to deal with these things is to call people out and shame them. Yes, it’s awful. But we must do it. We must look at it. Stare at it. Get angry. Get worked up. Then do something! Take action! Now will someone please get me a box of Kleenex? Thank you.