I friggin hate consultants

So I just got a call. We’ve got some pack of twats from McKinsey doing some bullshit study about iPhone roll-outs and supply chain metrics and blah blah whatever. I’m totally opposed to consultants but Tim Cook insisted and the board overruled me and brought these douchebags in. I swear all they do is hang around hitting on admins and striding around with their stupid Bluetooth headsets strapped to their ears like a pack of Klingons. Worse yet a few of them came in here carrying Windows machines. Huuuuuge mistake. The ones who remained after that fiasco aren’t much better. They’ve been holed up in a hotel in Cupertino for weeks, going out to bars and running up huge tabs. They actually sent in a bill from AJ’s in San Jose, like maybe we wouldn’t know it’s a strip bar. Egads. I’ve had Moshe and his guys following them at night, keeping an eye on them, slicing the tires on their rental cars while they’re sleeping, stuff like that. Anyway, now there’s some meeting tomorrow morning and they want me to attend. I just told Tim Cook to piss up a rope. Two minutes later the iPhone rings and it’s Jerry York telling me that Tim called and told on me. Wah! He says if I don’t shape up he’s gonna rat me out to the SEC himself. Goddamn you, Jerry York.